Schizopolis

campaignfinance:

Apparently the folks at Sick and Tired of Washington are too tired to fill out their reports correctly, too. The Super PAC’s April Quarterly showed no receipts and $39,848.85 in disbursements, an interesting message if one of things you’re sick and tired of is deficit spending. Today they amended that filing to say that, actually, they had received $75,000 during the first quarter, including $50,000 from a contributor listing no address, employer or occupation. Disclosure!

Footprints

I was walking along the beach with my _____.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets
of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to me
and one to my ____.

When the last scene of my life shot before me
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
There was only one set of footprints.
I realized that this was at the lowest
and saddest times of my life.
This always bothered me
and I questioned ____
about my dilemma.

“____, you told me when I decided to follow You,
You would walk and talk with me all the way.
But I’m aware that during the most troublesome
times of my life there is only one set of footprints.
I just don’t understand why, when I needed You most,
You leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child,
I love you and will never leave you.
When you saw only one set of footprints
it was then that I unfollowed you.”

“Sorry, I know that’s harsh, but you
just kept tweeting about all this boring stuff.
I just wanted to see lolcats and sarcasm
about TV shows. Not emo song lyrics and 
inspirational quotes. The Instagrams of
your food was usually the final straw. But when you
stopped moping and starting making hashtag jokes,
I followed you again. We cool bro?”